I don't have time to write about it right now ... family is here visiting and my sweet baby needs holding, but there is an entry growing in my heart, my belly, my soul right now. It's not pretty, but I need to write about it. The title here tells you what I need to write about, and soon. I never thought I would have an experience that fell under that category, but I have, and I have things to work through. I refuse to be defined by it, but I think it will fester terribly if I don't get it out.
I know you will be here to help me work through it all, when the time comes. If there is anything this experience has shown me, it is how richly blessed in friends I am. This realization came at a time where I think it might have saved me. At least one conversation with my best friend DID -- I was going off the deep end and she pulled me back in.
Anyhow, more to come. In the meantime --- thank you.
Rebekah, I've been thinking of you and praying for you all this time. I'm so sorry about the birth. But I'll keep praying, and when you are ready to write about it and get it out, I'll be here reading and supporting too.
Much love to you. <3
Posted by: Arwen | February 25, 2010 at 05:04 PM
See what I mean? Richly, deeply blessed. I have been absolutely blown away, and brought to tears over and over again by the expressions of care and concern that have been poured in my/our direction.
Thank you, Arwen. God bless you.
Posted by: Rebekah Kurth | February 25, 2010 at 05:11 PM
O Rebekah, it's terrible that you are suffering this way. I am praying for you RIGHT NOW. Love from Arizona.
Posted by: Bethany | February 25, 2010 at 05:17 PM
holding you and your space deeply: for grieving, processing, working through it all in whatever way and time you need. there is no timeline for healing.
you are supported and loved.
xoxo
Posted by: MereMortal | February 25, 2010 at 05:43 PM
There's been something brewing in my mind for the past couple weeks.... has it just been a week and half?!?
That day, that Monday, as I prayed for you and your not-yet-born son, something terrified me to the point I cried. Adam assured me that we would hear news soon and it wouldn't be bad news. And there it was. The joyful news of his birth! But still I had this fear. And when I heard of the trauma and part of what happened, I realized that the Lord was letting me in on a secret and that you needed (and still do need) more prayers.
I thank God for the doctors and their care and their ability to pull you both through. And I thank God for His providence - that at a time you most needed it, He called me to pray for you.
Love you, Rebekah. I look forward to hearing more when you're ready. And I'm still here praying for you and your family.
Posted by: Holly | February 25, 2010 at 09:20 PM
Oh Rebekah,
I don't know the all of it, because we can never know all of another woman's story, but I know some of this, and yes, you must process it and tell your story or it can consume you. Please know you can call if you ever want to talk. I am here.
Posted by: Jeanette | February 25, 2010 at 10:19 PM
Sending you lots of love and light as you work through this. (((hugs)))
Posted by: Ninotchka | February 25, 2010 at 11:07 PM
Sending you prayers and supportive thoughts. My experience of traumatic birth was that recovery comes in waves. Be gentle with yourself. I hope the being-at-home has begun the healing process.
Posted by: Jody | March 05, 2010 at 03:57 PM
Oh ho sad..=( but dont wori i will pray for you health..Just have a rest..Take care of your self..
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Wise man have their mouths in their hearts, fools have their hearts in their mouths.
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