Boundary Lines

Too Much Fun!

Have you ever had so much fun stuff planned, that it starts to stress you out and you find yourself not being able to look forward to any of it? I'm in the middle of that right now. In the next 5 days we have the following to look forward to ...

1. A church retreat in the beautiful Santa Cruz mountains.  
2. Halloween
3. New York City!
4. Barcelona!!

ALL of these on their own would be awesome, but coming on the heels of each other and it's a bit of freak-out city! We return from the retreat (where we will celebrate Halloween AND "Fall Back" an hour) on Sunday afternoon, and our flight to NYC LEAVES at 7 am. That's the most stressful part to me. Coming home, most likely tired from all the fun, washing and re-packing clothes, getting Ronan off to family with everything he'll need while we're away, and trying to get enough sleep so that we don't head into a 9-hour time difference already exhausted. AND we have a friend staying here while we're gone, so the house has to be at least semi-clean! 

I think I'm most concerned about the exhaustion part. Normally, I'd push right through it, but I have a hard time physically if I'm really sleep-deprived lately. It can completely lay me out, taking effort to just get up and go about like normal. I don't know, but it seems like the extra effort my heart has to make when I'm pregnant is taxed even more when I'm overly tired. I've had to sit down for a second when I was just doing my makeup! 

It was a very good idea for us to schedule in an overnight layover in NY, both ways. (My parents, brother and SIL are getting to NY this weekend, so we'll all be staying in a vacation rental on the way there.) We might have dinner with some friends of ours, but other than that I don't plan on doing anything there, except take a nice, long walk in Central Park. Gotta see those gorgeous Fall colours! 

Anyways, I hope I'm not complaining too much. I'm SO thankful for the time we'll have with our friends this weekend, and when I get past all the getting ready stuff, I'm over the moon about this precious opportunity to be in Spain with my family. It really almost didn't happen, and I had a very strong sense that if we didn't go NOW, we never would. I expect there will be a few happy tears shed while we're there. I think my heart will just about burst out of my chest with joy as Toby and I show them our favorite parts of the City, and (hopefully) pass on our love for Spain and the amazing people, food, music and even their "accTHentos maravillosos"!

Keep an eye out on Facebook ... I hope to post updates and pictures (hooray for Toby's iPhone!) throughout our vacation. See you when we return! 

Pregnancy Thought of the Day - 10/16

First, I just wanted to thank you for your answers to my questions/dilemma from my last entry. Right now, I think my best option is to contact a local midwife and see if I can't work a deal with her to fill in the blanks of my current OB care. I would have liked to do that this week, but T's been out of town and due to a flurry of Braxton Hicks contractions, I've spent a lot more time on the couch than normal. I seriously hope this doesn't become a pattern through the rest of this pregnancy. =P

Now, today's "PTOTD" is entitled "Already Getting The Crap Kicked Out of You". As of yesterday, this kid is kicking/punching hard enough for it to be uncomfortable. Some are that half-tickle/half-weird feeling, but I've mostly received a ton of OOF-producing WACKAPOW! in the last 24 hours. Feeling the baby move is still my favorite part of being pregnant, but it's often really uncomfortable, you know?!

The MAJOR plus-side to this is Aidan got to feel his baby brother kick for the first time this afternoon. It was the sweetest, most awesome, giggly experience ever, watching his face light up like that. He LOVED it, and I can't wait for my sweet boy to feel that over and over and over again. As the song goes, "These are the days you'll remember", and I hope with all my heart that Aidan never forgets this.

Pregnancy Question of the Day - 10/7

So, I have a question for all of you. How does a (really very) overweight and (really VERY) out-of-shape pregnant woman prepare for a VBA2C, more than half-way through her pregnancy, when she's being seen by an OB??

I think that most of you know that, while I have had 2 OBs that I really loved and who took excellent care of me through the crazy ups and downs of growing and delivering our 2 boys, I really do believe that the midwifery model of care is better (in most cases) for everyone involved.* I would absolutely have a home birth in a heartbeat if I didn't risk myself out in every possible way imaginable. 

So, I find myself in a catch-22, receiving good but not great care from an OB again when I KNOW I need better prenatal care to have the birth I'd like to have. I'm not waiting 2 hours to see the doctor, rushed through my appointments or ignored when I want to talk about a Birth Plan, as was my experience before. But I've never been asked about my diet, he has no idea whether or not I'm exercising at all, he's assuming I'm taking some sort of prenatal vitamin, amongst other things.

Now, I understand that the goal of this doctor is to help me avoid HELLP Syndrome, premature delivery and a stay in the ICU. That's his #1 priority, and it's definitely mine as well. A VBAC is waaay secondary to my health and the health and safety of the baby. But I also don't want to show up at the hospital in February and not be ABLE to have a VBAC simply because my body isn't prepared for it. That would be horrible.

Aaaand all of this is compounded by my being overweight and incredibly out of shape. I wish I'd started this pregnancy healthy, but the past  1 1/2 years really kicked my ass and my general health has paid for it. I know it's not time to make huge changes, but I get winded just walked up a flight of stairs! How the heck can I labor and deliver a baby when that's the case? Other than walking, which I've started doing recently, I don't know what else I should be focusing on, and my OB definitely isn't going to have any answers.

So, what do I do, when I need midwifery care but have to be seen by an OB? 

Help!!

* Thought I should clarify ... I'm speaking specifically about things like the amount of time, personal attention, questions and advice, and personally-tailored care a midwife gives prenatally, versus that of an OB. NOT hospital vs. home birth, natural vs. medicated, vaginal vs. cesarean delivery.