Hello there! Still here, still pregnant. It's been an up-and-down week for me. The physical discomfort is about the same, and relatively tolerable. You just get used to it, you know? The hardest part of this week has been the wondering and waiting. Wondering when the baby will be born, wondering HOW he will be born, wondering if after all this waiting for the baby to tell us when he's ready to meet us we'll still end up with another C-section. And waiting, waiting, waiting.
It's felt like a total mind-game at times. In some ways I'm thankful for this experience, though. I will FOREVER be more compassionate with the women around me who are overdue and struggling in the last days of their pregnancies. (And as a Pastor's wife ... that will be many, many women in the years to come!)
We've had Non Stress Tests every other day this last week, and each time my amniotic fluid is on the low side, but ok. (I think 8-24 is normal and mine has been about 8.) Once they sent us over to L&D because there was ONE decel when I had a contraction. Thank goodness my OB was there and said it was fine to go home, without us having to stay there a couple of hours. I'm very thankful to know that the baby's doing well, but driving back and forth, back and forth to appointments definitely gets old after a while.
Probably the most important thing to happen this week was my OB appointment on Wednesday. He did an internal (those are SO FUN -- but the only one he's ever done thus far), and I was soft but not dilated at all. I forgot to ask if my cervix was anterior or posterior, though.
We made the decision to ... UGH ... be induced starting Sunday night if I don't go into labor before then. I obviously have very mixed feelings about this, for many reasons. I hate that I don't know with 100% certainty what my EDD is/was. Not that many women ever do, but it would make me feel better if we knew more precisely so I could be more confident about how overdue I really am. That's one issue for me. The other is, of course, that VBACs are less successful when a woman is induced. And I'd REALLY like to know that I gave myself every fighting chance to avoid another C-section.
So, while I felt a good amount of RELIEF on Wednesday at the doctor's office, knowing there was an end in sight, I've been second-guessing myself lately. Have I really given myself enough time to go into labor on my own (understanding that I'm not willing to wait indefinitely)? Have I done everything I can to try and help the process along myself? Should I ask for another day or two? If I did, are my reason for this sound and do they take the best interest of the baby into consideration? If I go ahead with the induction, have I basically signed myself up for another C-section that could have been avoided? How will I deal with that afterwards, if I feel like that's the case?
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So, I wrote that first portion yesterday afternoon (Friday). This morning I woke up around 5 or so, having a contraction. They continued for the next couple of hours, every 6-9 minutes or so, along with frequent trips to the restroom. They were, oddly, shorter than others I've had in the past, and more "crampy" than tight, if that makes any sense. After a couple of hours, I was tired so I slept again, although I woke up a few times having a contraction. At 7:30 (the boys are with my parents until tomorrow morning), I woke Toby up. And then, of course, my contrax peetered out again. Ha! My body really likes to play "chicken" with me, doesn't it? Or more like it, it keeps chickening out on me, lol.
I just spoke with my midwife, and she thought the crampiness of the contractions was a good sign that things were heading in the right direction. So, that is encouraging. I'm still not thrilled about heading into an induction tomorrow, but I feel better about it today than I did yesterday. I think Toby and I will see if we can't jump move things along ourselves today, and if nothing happens, at least it seems that my body is more and more ready for the real thing and will hopefully be that much more receptive to everything tomorrow.
Btw, the plan is for me to go in tomorrow evening at 7. We've decided to start the induction using a Foley catheter, which applies pressure on the cervix, slowly dilating it to 3 cm and hopefully causing my body to release prostaglandins and kick into labor on it's own after that point. If I'm not laboring on my own by then, they will start Pitocin. Yes, Pitocin SUCKS (although I didn't find it to be bad at all during Ronan's labor), having the freedom to move around, get in the shower, walk and get into different positions should help a LOT.
Please pray that I go into labor on my own in the next 24 hours. And if not, let's all trust that this beautiful baby is ready to meet us and that my induction (ugh) and labor goes beautifully and just the way it is supposed to. Fingers crossed for an awesome VBA2C!!!